my kaleidoscope world

It was just last night that I held you before my arms even could.

Two hands touched, hers guiding mine to where you moved about in your own sea of safety and contentment.

I watched this man’s eyes dance as he watched me grow in excitement feeling you turn beneath my hand; that man you’ll soon call Daddy.

•••••••••

It was just last night that before we closed our eyes to rest, you were all we could think about, and so we prayed.

Thoughts of you entering this world, this family–it’s a sweet song that repeats over and over in my heart.

The thought of your tiny hands, sweet smell, and the ways you’ll bring so much joy to us soothes me to sleep and there, we meet in my dreams.

•••••••••

It was just last night that we found the perfect crib for you to sleep in, the perfect dresser to neatly tuck away your tiny clothes, and the rocker that we’ll spend countless hours in.

So many people can’t wait to meet you. You’ve got Nana’s, Nonna’s, Poppy’s and Papa’s hearts just swooning and bursting to embrace you. The same is true for so many more!

There is a purpose and a plan for you, Little One. Your Creator formed you with love, unfathomable complexity, and all for a unique reason. We just can’t believe we get to be a part of this story.

•••••••••

It was just last night that I held you before my arms even could.

Written to my Little One,

Love Julie

(but I’ll soon be known as Mommy)

I can’t put my finger on it, but lately it seems like I’ve been forgetting something…what could it be?

Most everything, most definitely!

I hear that some women’s brains get all mushy and forgetful as motherhood ensues. I’m learning now that it probably has nothing to do with the biological shift that most mothers go through to become a mother. Yet, it’s just the sheer revelation that there are 1,963,732 random-and-all-too-equally-important thoughts that are being processed and chewed over the 86,400 seconds that one day affords.

This exciting journey of being chosen to gear up for parenting and a baby in now 5 or 6 weeks (I don’t know, those weird weekly calendars totally confuse me!) is a completely different roller coaster than the one some parents have 8 to 9 months to ride on. Wheeeeee! But it is a fun ride!

So, I apologize if my return phone calls and emails have been severely delayed. I really want to respond to everyone individually for your comments/posts of support and excitement. It just means so much to us right now! I owe you all tons of hugs!

Now for an update… We had a successful meeting last Monday at our attorney’s office with the expectant mother and biological father. Our attorney is doing a great job and she has such a gift of working with both the adoptive parents and the expectant mothers. To make the details brief and for the sake of privacy on the other parties’ behalf, the attorney gave us the green light to move forward, assessing the situation to be one that seems healthy and in really good standings, and we now have one part of the parental surrenders legally taken care of, barring no interruptions, leading up the the birth of baby.

The expectant mom is doing wonderful and baby seems to be keeping her alert and very aware that there’s an active li’l guy or gal in there! A few times, when baby was really moving, the expectant mother reached over and placed our hands on her tummy and said, “Feel baby… she’s kicking so hard!” Now, we don’t know if it’s a she, but expectant mother refers to baby as she. Time will soon tell!

That touch was amazing! I think those little moments in our journey are very spellbinding to Eric and I. This is really happening!

Well, there’s more to update, but I’ll attempt to be more regular in posting this week. There are fabrics picked out, painting to do, more registering to do, furniture to buy, so much! Oh, and I’ve got to get my shower invitee list over to my good friends who have been patiently waiting. Oh, and…hmmm…just forgot what the next thing was. Oh well, it will come to me.

Thanks for your continued prayers and excitement!

For those of you that know me personally, you’ve probably wondered to yourself, “why, with all the excitement and fast-moving details within the past 5 days, would she be blogging about gardening and KitchenAid mixers?” Ha, ha! Please allow me to enjoy a brief chuckle at how planned and organized I thought I was being by taking some of my sick days and recovery time from the toothache episode to SCHEDULE FUTURE POSTS!

That’s right, organizationally speaking (hardy-har-har!), I’ve written several blog posts at one sitting that will go live each day at 7:00am. And, with all the commotion after this last Tuesday’s earth-moving phone call, I’ve just let the scheduled posts run as planned!

I always feel as though I write too much and cram it all in one post. I was encouraged to try this when I read on flowerdust’s blog that she keeps her blog rolling with new posts nearly every day, she just doesn’t always do it “live”. Wonderful suggestion! (I don’t know her personally, but she is one fascinating blogger!)

So with that, I’ll close this post and start writing the next one. The one you’ve all been waiting to see be made publicly declared. Oh yes, that one! :o)

On Memorial Day weekend, we did some work around the house and enjoyed the mild temperatures. I finally marked off one of my “wish list” items since we’ve moved into our new home: a vegetable garden!

Here are the pictures of Day 1, Monday 5/26/08: In the Ground.

Pic 1: We planted 80% of these starter plants for good, strong roots.

Pic 2: We planted 3 cucumber and 6 different tomato plants

Pic 3: E’s creativity and build-it-himself handiness displayed with a pulley system bird feeder mounted high in a tree in the woods behind our house.

We need your prayers, family and friends. We can’t publish many details at this time and we don’t like having to be vague, but we trust completely in God’s all-knowingness in all matters of the heart.

We have a particular situation that has developed in the past 24 hours and we simply are asking God to hear our prayers and give guidance and peace in what may come. We’re hoping that what we want is in the center of his perfect will for our lives and that this has been revealed to us according to his purpose and plan. And, we pray that we are okay with however he chooses to answer this prayer.

It’s potentially wonderful news. It’s potentially life changing news.

Here’s what I can tell you. God is sovereign, he is more at work in this matter than we could ever think of trying to be, he is big, loving, faithful and mighty!

Thanks, thanks, thanks Everyone!

I’ll try to make this post brief but complete in updates…

First, thanks for the many of you that have prayed for me over this terribly painful last week as I’ve endured the distress of an abscessed tooth. Relief came yesterday with a root canal retreatment. I’m still very sore and uncomfortable, but I truly believe the worst is behind me. Now, I just have to incorporate a very full work schedule and the adoption process back into recovery time. No problemo!

Exciting news! My teammate and Director of Middle School at Browns Bridge, Clint Nowery, celebrated the arrival of his son, Silas Briggs Nowery, yesterday! I just can’t wait to congratulate them in person. And I really can’t wait to gaze into that l’il cutie-pie’s eyes — the baby’s, that is!

There are several of you that are asking for more frequent adoption updates and I know I need to incorporate more of that here in my l’il corner of the interwebby world, but here’s the thing: the process is so very silent right now! It’s about to make me burst!

I thought I would spare you the long laundry list of things we’re working on that seems more red-tape and boring, but from this point on, I’ll do a better job of making an honorable mention of those facts and details for those of you who aren’t seeing us regularly for our drive-by updates of “hey, we just got fingerprinted”, “ooh, gotta run, we’re picking up our 9-1-1 reports at the sheriff’s office”, “sorry, do you mind to hold for a minute? This is the vet’s office calling with our dog’s vaccination record”, “look honey, Dick’s Sporting Goods is having a sale on gun safety cases”, “whaaaaa? We can’t be seen for our medical evaluations for 5 weeks? But we’re adopting and would like to do it in this decade!”, or “um-hmm, k, so we need to sign this form acknowledging that we signed the form just before this one, which was actually acknowledging that we have received a check-list of things to do, incidentally the form before that one, which we already initialed, dated and signed?”

Oh, the things that a mother-in-waiting analyzes in her head!

Oh boy–the pain! It dawned on me yesterday why I don’t remember this pain being around with the first root canal–because it was preventative! Discomfort, yes, but not an abcsessed tooth type pain. Darn live root of mine is still hiding up there somewhere and is all fussy and infected now.

Since I was a new patient yesterday, I got the usual questions from the polite dental assistant. Where do you live? Where do you work? Do you have children? That talk led into our adoption story and how we’ve tried for many years to grow our family and how we couldn’t be more excited to be making it happen now through adoption. I explained how I wanted the experience of pregnancy, but up to this point, God has clearly blessed us with different options.

In walks Dr. Bond, with a large toothy grin, his front tooth gleaming and sparkling, he stood confidently in that Green Giant-pose, his eyes widened with that look people give just before they deliver the news, and he said, “This doesn’t look good, Mrs. Kent. Do you have someone you can call to be here with you?”

Okay, so that’s not what he really said. And he probably didn’t look anything like how I described. But pain does make some of us delirious.

Dr. Bond explained the possibility of the live root that is abscessed, what the next steps were, and said that I really needed something for the pain until the specialists could fix things. He jested, “every woman I’ve encountered with this type of pain has said they’d rather be in labor and give birth to several children, so I’m sure you’re needing some relief.”

So deep inside buried beneath the pain of the moment, I smiled in my heart and chuckled to myself–remembering the words I had just said to the dental assistant moments before–and realized that for this moment and for this season, I was in my own kind of labor.

Great, now where’s the epidural?

Let me add this–the ‘epidural’ did not work! The first pain killer has caused reactions and illness and I’ve not been keeping food or meds down. I switched to a different med and it’s not causing the same reaction, but I’m not liking the way it makes me feel either. But the combination of the med and the antibiotic are starting to calm the throbbing and sharpness of the pain–prayers answered!

This stuff never happens at the right time, but then there isn’t a ‘right time’! I’m uber-thankful for my team at work and for the way they are working in super-charged mode to fill in my blanks. They have many great and busy things happening in their own lives, too, so I hope I can convey how appreciative I am. Eric, of course, has been wonderful and so attentive. God blessed me with him as my help-mate and he certainly doesn’t lack in compassion.

I’m using some homeopathic treatments [thanks Katiebod!] that have been more reliable than the medicine, so it’s time I start that back up for the morning. I’ll update later with how things go.

I said I needed to update my blog to a group of friends and family via email last night in correspondence regarding adoption reference letters they are writing. Then, I read Ashley’s comment about needing to update so that the weird guyliner post isn’t at the top any more, so…

I’m in the most dental pain I can ever recall having in my near entire 30 years of living at this moment!

All I can think of through every throb and wave of pain is of my dear dad who has been through dental hell the last 3 months. Seriously, it’s taken me like 20 minutes to stop crying, which I’ve waited all day to do apparently. I’m notorious for shelving the need to get medical care which always leads to emergencies. A combination of high pain thresholds and plain stubbornness has clearly landed me in this predicament, the gall bladder emergency surgery, and the near hysterectomy 3 years ago. Why?!? Why, oh why do I do this?!

So, I’m googling emergency dentists. My regular dentist was able to fit me in Thursday due to a cancellation, but it simply can’t wait another 31 hours. I’ve got another call into Dr. Mazer (I’ve met him and his family at Browns Bridge and one of his hygienists, Leslie, is on our small group leader team in Middle School). I’ve heard great things about him and his practice, so I’m hoping they can fit me in.

At this moment, I’m contemplating finding pliers and pulling the tooth myself. Orajel is giving me about 2 minutes of slight relief at a time. I feel silly asking God to heal me as there are others with far worse circumstances. But I sure would appreciate a call from the dentist’s office at 7am telling me to come in and be someone’s first patient in the morning.

For the next 3 hours, maybe I’ll continue the work on my lengthy Adoption Personal Study. Or, I could categorize my iphoto library for possible adoption profile pics we can use. Or write the Dear Birth Mom letter. Or, do more fund raising planning. Or, just curl up in fetal position and sob uncontrollably!

Oral pain really is the worst, isn’t it?

If something CAN go wrong, it WILL.

So yeah, we start this new life-altering (and awesome!) course of adoption and on Monday we think, “let’s get our soon-to-haul-baby-mover in the shop for a 60k mile tune-up and oil change.” This work will cost around $400. Four hours and a phone call later we hear, “you’ve got a cracked radiator that wasn’t repaired, or even noticed for that matter, from back in March ‘07 from the little accident you had . . . it’s leaking and needs a new one . . . parts are on order for a Wednesday install . . . cost is $620.“

Choke. Eye rolling. Heart pounds.

Us: Oh, really? Well, okay . . .

Honda: We can check to see if it’s under warranty. We’ll call back.

Some time passes…

Honda: Mr. Kent, you’re covered with your warranty and it includes a car rental. Just come by and pick up the rental and we’ll call you Wednesday when your Accord is ready.

Us: Whew! Thanks God!

And, we have to give a shout out to Dave Ramsey, who resides in our heads/hearts/thoughts for teaching us sensible saving and spending practices that still would have covered this had the warranty not been there!