my kaleidoscope world

It was just last night that I held you before my arms even could.

Two hands touched, hers guiding mine to where you moved about in your own sea of safety and contentment.

I watched this man’s eyes dance as he watched me grow in excitement feeling you turn beneath my hand; that man you’ll soon call Daddy.

•••••••••

It was just last night that before we closed our eyes to rest, you were all we could think about, and so we prayed.

Thoughts of you entering this world, this family–it’s a sweet song that repeats over and over in my heart.

The thought of your tiny hands, sweet smell, and the ways you’ll bring so much joy to us soothes me to sleep and there, we meet in my dreams.

•••••••••

It was just last night that we found the perfect crib for you to sleep in, the perfect dresser to neatly tuck away your tiny clothes, and the rocker that we’ll spend countless hours in.

So many people can’t wait to meet you. You’ve got Nana’s, Nonna’s, Poppy’s and Papa’s hearts just swooning and bursting to embrace you. The same is true for so many more!

There is a purpose and a plan for you, Little One. Your Creator formed you with love, unfathomable complexity, and all for a unique reason. We just can’t believe we get to be a part of this story.

•••••••••

It was just last night that I held you before my arms even could.

Written to my Little One,

Love Julie

(but I’ll soon be known as Mommy)

Our journey as God would have it…is amazing. Words elude me as to how I should begin telling of this unfolding story. It’s one that I’ll play over and over in my mind until my dying day. Every word, every detail, every sweet and beautiful note is a melody that is now my song; I’ve been dreaming of how it’s tune would go for so long now. I had no idea it would be like this…

First, let me start off with how all renown goes to God alone. That’s a good start to any story, isn’t it?

Secondly, let me say this: E and I are thrilled to say that we are soon to be adoptive parents (mommy and daddy!) to a precious baby that is due in less than 8 weeks! Yes, yes, yes. I actually said 8 weeks (or less)!

Last Tuesday–just a week ago–we received a phone call telling us of an expectant mother that was due in 8 weeks and she had lovingly (and with great concern and emotion, I’m sure of) made the decision to place the baby for adoption. After a few more conversations, by Wednesday night, we had all happily and excitedly arrived to the decision to meet Friday evening for dinner at a family Italian restaurant just down the street from us.

On Thursday, we began calling everyone asking for prayer and had also asked for any available friends to come and assist us with putting together a profile (rifling through our pictures). By 7PM that night, dinner was brought in by Randy & Darci, then Travis, Ashley, Kim, E, and myself started sorting through a box of pictures and iphoto files. By 9PM, my talented and extremely generous sister-in-law, Jessica, had arrived after an emergency call I made pleading for her expertise. Little did I know that she would just haul my 13 month-old nephew and all her scrapbooking materials all the way up here from Griffin in a moment’s notice. She worked tirelessly, creatively, and fully inspired until 4:30 Friday morning. It was incredible! She was incredible! The album/profile is, well, incredible! Also, the 3AM ice cream fix really helped us push through that last hour or so.

By Friday evening, just moments before we were to meet the expectant mother and her family, E and I held each other and prayed. There was so much peace. We sat and laughed and talked the few minutes we had before they arrived. We honestly weren’t overworked with frazzled nerves, yet we were cutting up and having a good time just being us. We honestly hadn’t experienced one thing that would cause us to worry. It was clear that we were where we were supposed to be.

The dinner went really well. The conversations were fun, enlightening, and engaging. It was just so familiar to us. We compared tattoo and piercing stories. (Wouldn’t it be like God to use our uniqueness and pure personalities to make us all feel non-judged and understood?) After making sure that the expectant mom had seen our album, had her own album to take home, and had polished off almost all the strawberry cheesecake, we said our goodbyes for that evening.

Ten minutes later, after saying we had thought things went really well and had given thanks to God, the phone rings! It’s her. Somewhere on her drive home, she was calling us saying thanks for a great time, a really good meal, and the opportunity to have met us. And after a few more very nice and generous words, she said, “I know you’re the ones, I know you are. I choose you! Will you be the mother and father to this baby?”

Words can’t describe what hearing those words spoken to us felt like. Indescribable. Through joyful tears and muttered words of praise to God on our lips, we said “yes, yes, YES!” She said that our answer made her very happy and she couldn’t wait any longer to ask us.

God, help us not to forget how you like being in every single detail and you like it when we ask you to work out the things that we know we can’t control on our own. Like, we never wanted to know the gender of any biological or adopted babies until delivery. God heard and honored that one. We’re ALL going to be genuinely surprised! We wanted to be present and available for doctor appointments and the delivery, too. She has generously offered and invited us to be there in the midst of it all. What a miracle! Her family and friends would like to shower this baby with gifts and pass them along to us–what profound love they have!

Oh, I can just go on and on and on. There are some details that are just too precious and too mind-blowing. And, every time I retell this story, the same emotions come flooding back and wash over my soul.

We are still praying for many details and asking for provision and guidance as we all move forward. It’s very important to us the emotional, physical and spiritual well-being of this expectant mom from now until forever and ever. And for this sweet, blessed baby that soon we will bring into our home. Oh, how my heart just melts at the very vision of sweet toes and tiny hands and baby lashes to gaze at and admire each day God gives us.

I’m just lost in this big ‘ol ocean of grace right now. I’m just lost in it.

. . . There’s no place like home, there’s no place like home!

This “No Place Like Home” slideshow is brought to you by way of the beautiful Bluegrass State of Kentucky. Maybe it’s me having spring fever, maybe it’s the upcoming addition to our family, it’s without a doubt my longing to be with my parents (especially this weekend of my dad’s birthday and other things).

These pictures make me so proud of my parents, all they’ve accomplished, and all they continue to do to make life so, so sweet! I’ve got the best family a girl could ask for!

(make sure you read, or skip if you’d like, to the end!)

. . . Much has happened in the past 30 days since my last update, but I won’t bother with the excuses, I’ll get to the good stuff!

Eric spent a week in Vegas for NAB conference a few weeks back getting a deeper understanding of video editing. Me, I just spent the whole week missing him! I couldn’t wait for him to come home; so much that I was at the Marta train station waiting for him to come up from the airport 1 1/2 hours early. (For those of you who know me, you’re cracking up at my being early for something, right! Whodathunk it could happen?)

In the course of the past 5 Sundays with my work, I’ve had back-to-back excitement. First, we were back from Spring Break and the Attic at Browns Bridge had been remodeled. The room is so chill now. The following Sundays leading up to this last week have consisted of: Involve & Student Impact Volunteer Appreciation, Small Group Leader retreat in Jasper, Family Birthday Celebration baptism services (it was wow/amazing!), and Drive Conference. And that’s just work — not the personal “life outside of work” details.

This past week was our nephew Levi’s first birthday and he’s walking! Time flies! This upcoming week, one of our very good friends, Jamie, is being baptized at North Point.

We came to know Jamie, his wife Sam, and their two daughters, Chloe and Ivy, when they moved here from California. They became easy to recognize from the first Sunday they attended NP. Jamie had the rocker spiked mohawk, thick-gauged earlobe studs, crazy inked up arms with all variations of tattoos and Sam was his cutesy, tattoo bearing, Hot Topic wearing, bubbly, and lovely wife. They were the ones that had the two most adorable girls in the room. And Jamie and Sam were the doting, extremely calculative, very engaged parents that encouraged the girls’ participation and good manners while in KidStuf. They had me at hello! After some seasons of them moving around Alpharetta and even to CA and back, they ended up being our neighbors! (For those of you that know us, yes, that’s when Eric got the ginormous tattoo that is on his right arm! Did I mention Jamie is a ridiculously talented tattooist and artist?) We’ve witnessed God continue to grow their faith and prosper them and it’s been an exciting journey. Jamie and Sam both have a passion and love to serve God and reach out to people in incredible ways. They are both gifted and so easy to love and hang out with. Seeing Jamie celebrate his identity in Christ through baptism on Sunday will be beyond what words can say!

Now, I’m about to blow your mind . . . are you ready?!

Eric and I are on our way to being parents!!!! No, we’re not pregnant, but we are expectant in our hearts, thoughts, and spirits. We are in fact starting our adoption process at 10AM tomorrow morning! How fitting for this weekend of celebrating Mamas, eh?

This time next year, I hope to be wearing motherhood (a.k.a. spit up, baby cereal, drool, and yeah, I probably will not have showered in several days…) like a badge of honor!

We are incredibly excited! Even though the pressures of the paperwork (more like our new, unpaid part-time job of filling out forms!) and the money that we’re putting towards this adoption can be draining, those moments will fade the very nanosecond that our baby is placed in our arms. Every feeling of discouragement and fatigue will be dimmed and put to rest when our dreams become reality and the spark of hope that we had clung to and prayed for, the child that grew within us in our hearts and desires, is there in our hands. My mind is so limited in trying to conjure up the imagery of this moment. And, I don’t want to spoil it by thinking too long on it. We simply surrender that moment, as well as those before and long, long after it, to a trustworthy and loving God.

We are so happy to announce this to our family and friends. So many have cried with us and held us close over the years of infertility struggles. You’ve assured us time and again of how God has a purpose and plan for our life and he will be faithful to mark even the most painful of journeys with his provision, care and love. And, he has.

We have a lot of work to do to get where we’re going. We would sure love your support and prayers along the way. There is much to keep in mind, but God knows all. We have some fun, creative ways that we’re thinking up for raising support to help financially accomplish this dream. We also have a profile to put together and we need the expertise and creativity of the brilliant minds that are around us to help market — yes, I said market — us.

So, with all of that, I’ll sign off and be sure to update after our meeting tomorrow at 10AM. That is, if after the contract signing and check writing my hand isn’t too cramped up to type! :o)

So last week my family from Kentucky came in for a visit and it was wonderful, but it happened all too fast! They came in late Saturday, literally followed the Domino’s guy to the front door, and after catching up for a bit, we were in bed resting up for the journey of showing them Browns Bridge Church (where Eric and I work) the next day. Church was terrific and I wondered if any of them knew that Andy wasn’t really there. Turns out, my dad and mom found out sometime throughout the service that it was indeed the hi-def image of him, but my brother, Mr. Techno Savvy himself, wasn’t entirely sure until the very end when Andy prayed and the set changed. A big applause for the brilliant SPD teams at the three campuses that make this incredible environment happen each week!

Afterwards, Eric took Jeremy, my brother, to the Hawks vs. Knicks game for some hoops action and I believe they had a great time just being guys. Meanwhile, I was a mad woman in the kitchen making our famed two-bite brownies and prepping for a Low Country Boil. Let the feeding frenzy begin!

Just an idea of the meals we ate: Low Country Boil, Momma’s Roast, Homemade Chicken Noodle Soup, Eric’s BBQ ribs, and what some may take for granted but certainly not us — homegrown canned green beans from mom and dad’s garden. We ate very good last week and had great conversations all the while, getting more use out of my dining room than in the last year!

Eric and I both had to do some work based off of deadlines while they were here, so that took from our time. The weather was dreadful up until the last 24 hours before they left. However, on the upside, I did get my mom in for some hairapy with Leslie the Great (my hair stylist) and she really liked the cut and style. That was nice just getting away for girl time.

Wednesday came quickly, and before we knew it, the visit had come to an end and it was back to work! My mom has it in her head that we’ll somehow not be seeing each other for another 3 to 6 months, but that’s just crazytalk! I’m sure we’ll need a refill on green beans long before then!

To all the Spring Break travelers out there — have fun, be safe, and make the most of all your moments together!

Well, okay, if there is any truth to that jeer, then we’ll give it a try! Today, Eric and I celebrated our 8th wedding anniversary! (Last week we . . . ahem . . . happened to remember that we were at the 12-year mark since first meeting and quickly falling in love.) Oh, the romance that can ensue over a milkshake ordered in a drive-thru!

I’m going to be transparent here friends; two weeks ago, I would have had serious doubts that I would feel as happy and joyfully wedded as I do right now. I literally had one of those freak-out moments of “is this it?”, “what’s happening now is not what I signed up for”, “do I call my mom to ask if there is a return policy?”, and “I’m sure he wants out — if I were him and lived with me, I’d want out, too!” Yep, in the years since marrying, it was the. lowest. I. had. felt. I had some deep conversations with my mom (which to my pleasure, she cleverly led me to more realistic and Godly thinking) and a much needed shopping trip with my dear friend, Kim, to IKEA.

After about four or five seemingly endless, silent, and weird days, we both sat down to lunch at Zaxby’s and let ‘er rip. We sat there and communicated our hurts, our goals, our lack of goals, our best years, our crazy duo-antics, our busyness and lack of unplugging, some disappointments, and so on. We quickly began seeing light piercing through the darkness that had become our last week. I know Eric’s love language is ‘words of affirmation’, so I did my best to encourage his spirit. Imagine this if you will — it worked! And because he knew my language is ‘quality time’, he sat there allowing me to talk and convey emotions all while not looking at his phone that was blowing up with text messages and phone calls. (Sorry KidStuf staff for his being late to your meeting!)

So, this is why the messages I’ve heard at MarriedLife Live, marriage enrichment confs., books, couples devotions, and all that say to work together, don’t let work run your life, discover and celebrate each other’s unique differences. Hmmm . . .

To take things a step further, last week, I got to see a glimpse of Eric on paper — his Right Path Profile. At first, I wasn’t looking forward to a meeting at work that was all about personality profiles, but my two hours in this meeting was an answer to an unspoken prayer. Once I began to become more aware of myself and the unique way that God had created me — why things make me tick the way they do — I was almost restless thinking how I couldn’t wait to see Eric’s profile. How does he respond to bad news and good news? How does he prefer to socialize? Why does it frustrate him when he doesn’t feel like he’s part of a team? I poured over his profile a few days later just seeing a tangible computation of the beauty of God’s creation in my husband. Why hadn’t I known these things 7 years ago?! This stuff makes sense!

So, fast-forward a bit to today. We celebrated tonight over a great dinner at a new restaurant, a mixture of light-hearted and in-depth conversations, good wine, and a decadent dessert. Now that we’re moving towards nine years, we’re harnessing a cheesy saying of positivity: “Nine is Sublime!”

So, if I could “take a picture ’cause it would last longer”, here it is . . .