my kaleidoscope world

Just a little update on baby… EM (expectant mother), went to the doctor yesterday and was surprised when they actually had her go back to see the doctor. It was just supposed to be a visit for filling our new patient paperwork. Instead, we got some great news and a check-up on both EM and baby!

First, EM is doing really good. Tired some days, but so many friends and family are doing a wonderful job of taking care of her. She is always smiling and simply stated, she is amazing! As we were leaving from visiting her last night, she said, “there goes my baby’s parents!” E and I just beamed!

Now for baby updates! New due date, y’all! Doctor says we’re looking at full-term being two weeks earlier than we thought. We are now aiming for 4 weeks from now! Baby is doing great from the doctor’s assessment, measuring out to be a little teeny-tiny peanut, and we get to take a peak with an ultrasound next week! And no, we will not be asking if we can find out the gender (although all three of us–EM, E, and I–are still a little tempted!)

We’ve got some painting, clothes washing, furniture assembly and so much more to hustle on! Whooohoo!

It was just last night that I held you before my arms even could.

Two hands touched, hers guiding mine to where you moved about in your own sea of safety and contentment.

I watched this man’s eyes dance as he watched me grow in excitement feeling you turn beneath my hand; that man you’ll soon call Daddy.

•••••••••

It was just last night that before we closed our eyes to rest, you were all we could think about, and so we prayed.

Thoughts of you entering this world, this family–it’s a sweet song that repeats over and over in my heart.

The thought of your tiny hands, sweet smell, and the ways you’ll bring so much joy to us soothes me to sleep and there, we meet in my dreams.

•••••••••

It was just last night that we found the perfect crib for you to sleep in, the perfect dresser to neatly tuck away your tiny clothes, and the rocker that we’ll spend countless hours in.

So many people can’t wait to meet you. You’ve got Nana’s, Nonna’s, Poppy’s and Papa’s hearts just swooning and bursting to embrace you. The same is true for so many more!

There is a purpose and a plan for you, Little One. Your Creator formed you with love, unfathomable complexity, and all for a unique reason. We just can’t believe we get to be a part of this story.

•••••••••

It was just last night that I held you before my arms even could.

Written to my Little One,

Love Julie

(but I’ll soon be known as Mommy)

I can’t put my finger on it, but lately it seems like I’ve been forgetting something…what could it be?

Most everything, most definitely!

I hear that some women’s brains get all mushy and forgetful as motherhood ensues. I’m learning now that it probably has nothing to do with the biological shift that most mothers go through to become a mother. Yet, it’s just the sheer revelation that there are 1,963,732 random-and-all-too-equally-important thoughts that are being processed and chewed over the 86,400 seconds that one day affords.

This exciting journey of being chosen to gear up for parenting and a baby in now 5 or 6 weeks (I don’t know, those weird weekly calendars totally confuse me!) is a completely different roller coaster than the one some parents have 8 to 9 months to ride on. Wheeeeee! But it is a fun ride!

So, I apologize if my return phone calls and emails have been severely delayed. I really want to respond to everyone individually for your comments/posts of support and excitement. It just means so much to us right now! I owe you all tons of hugs!

Now for an update… We had a successful meeting last Monday at our attorney’s office with the expectant mother and biological father. Our attorney is doing a great job and she has such a gift of working with both the adoptive parents and the expectant mothers. To make the details brief and for the sake of privacy on the other parties’ behalf, the attorney gave us the green light to move forward, assessing the situation to be one that seems healthy and in really good standings, and we now have one part of the parental surrenders legally taken care of, barring no interruptions, leading up the the birth of baby.

The expectant mom is doing wonderful and baby seems to be keeping her alert and very aware that there’s an active li’l guy or gal in there! A few times, when baby was really moving, the expectant mother reached over and placed our hands on her tummy and said, “Feel baby… she’s kicking so hard!” Now, we don’t know if it’s a she, but expectant mother refers to baby as she. Time will soon tell!

That touch was amazing! I think those little moments in our journey are very spellbinding to Eric and I. This is really happening!

Well, there’s more to update, but I’ll attempt to be more regular in posting this week. There are fabrics picked out, painting to do, more registering to do, furniture to buy, so much! Oh, and I’ve got to get my shower invitee list over to my good friends who have been patiently waiting. Oh, and…hmmm…just forgot what the next thing was. Oh well, it will come to me.

Thanks for your continued prayers and excitement!

Our journey as God would have it…is amazing. Words elude me as to how I should begin telling of this unfolding story. It’s one that I’ll play over and over in my mind until my dying day. Every word, every detail, every sweet and beautiful note is a melody that is now my song; I’ve been dreaming of how it’s tune would go for so long now. I had no idea it would be like this…

First, let me start off with how all renown goes to God alone. That’s a good start to any story, isn’t it?

Secondly, let me say this: E and I are thrilled to say that we are soon to be adoptive parents (mommy and daddy!) to a precious baby that is due in less than 8 weeks! Yes, yes, yes. I actually said 8 weeks (or less)!

Last Tuesday–just a week ago–we received a phone call telling us of an expectant mother that was due in 8 weeks and she had lovingly (and with great concern and emotion, I’m sure of) made the decision to place the baby for adoption. After a few more conversations, by Wednesday night, we had all happily and excitedly arrived to the decision to meet Friday evening for dinner at a family Italian restaurant just down the street from us.

On Thursday, we began calling everyone asking for prayer and had also asked for any available friends to come and assist us with putting together a profile (rifling through our pictures). By 7PM that night, dinner was brought in by Randy & Darci, then Travis, Ashley, Kim, E, and myself started sorting through a box of pictures and iphoto files. By 9PM, my talented and extremely generous sister-in-law, Jessica, had arrived after an emergency call I made pleading for her expertise. Little did I know that she would just haul my 13 month-old nephew and all her scrapbooking materials all the way up here from Griffin in a moment’s notice. She worked tirelessly, creatively, and fully inspired until 4:30 Friday morning. It was incredible! She was incredible! The album/profile is, well, incredible! Also, the 3AM ice cream fix really helped us push through that last hour or so.

By Friday evening, just moments before we were to meet the expectant mother and her family, E and I held each other and prayed. There was so much peace. We sat and laughed and talked the few minutes we had before they arrived. We honestly weren’t overworked with frazzled nerves, yet we were cutting up and having a good time just being us. We honestly hadn’t experienced one thing that would cause us to worry. It was clear that we were where we were supposed to be.

The dinner went really well. The conversations were fun, enlightening, and engaging. It was just so familiar to us. We compared tattoo and piercing stories. (Wouldn’t it be like God to use our uniqueness and pure personalities to make us all feel non-judged and understood?) After making sure that the expectant mom had seen our album, had her own album to take home, and had polished off almost all the strawberry cheesecake, we said our goodbyes for that evening.

Ten minutes later, after saying we had thought things went really well and had given thanks to God, the phone rings! It’s her. Somewhere on her drive home, she was calling us saying thanks for a great time, a really good meal, and the opportunity to have met us. And after a few more very nice and generous words, she said, “I know you’re the ones, I know you are. I choose you! Will you be the mother and father to this baby?”

Words can’t describe what hearing those words spoken to us felt like. Indescribable. Through joyful tears and muttered words of praise to God on our lips, we said “yes, yes, YES!” She said that our answer made her very happy and she couldn’t wait any longer to ask us.

God, help us not to forget how you like being in every single detail and you like it when we ask you to work out the things that we know we can’t control on our own. Like, we never wanted to know the gender of any biological or adopted babies until delivery. God heard and honored that one. We’re ALL going to be genuinely surprised! We wanted to be present and available for doctor appointments and the delivery, too. She has generously offered and invited us to be there in the midst of it all. What a miracle! Her family and friends would like to shower this baby with gifts and pass them along to us–what profound love they have!

Oh, I can just go on and on and on. There are some details that are just too precious and too mind-blowing. And, every time I retell this story, the same emotions come flooding back and wash over my soul.

We are still praying for many details and asking for provision and guidance as we all move forward. It’s very important to us the emotional, physical and spiritual well-being of this expectant mom from now until forever and ever. And for this sweet, blessed baby that soon we will bring into our home. Oh, how my heart just melts at the very vision of sweet toes and tiny hands and baby lashes to gaze at and admire each day God gives us.

I’m just lost in this big ‘ol ocean of grace right now. I’m just lost in it.

For those of you that know me personally, you’ve probably wondered to yourself, “why, with all the excitement and fast-moving details within the past 5 days, would she be blogging about gardening and KitchenAid mixers?” Ha, ha! Please allow me to enjoy a brief chuckle at how planned and organized I thought I was being by taking some of my sick days and recovery time from the toothache episode to SCHEDULE FUTURE POSTS!

That’s right, organizationally speaking (hardy-har-har!), I’ve written several blog posts at one sitting that will go live each day at 7:00am. And, with all the commotion after this last Tuesday’s earth-moving phone call, I’ve just let the scheduled posts run as planned!

I always feel as though I write too much and cram it all in one post. I was encouraged to try this when I read on flowerdust’s blog that she keeps her blog rolling with new posts nearly every day, she just doesn’t always do it “live”. Wonderful suggestion! (I don’t know her personally, but she is one fascinating blogger!)

So with that, I’ll close this post and start writing the next one. The one you’ve all been waiting to see be made publicly declared. Oh yes, that one! :o)

God you’re wrecking me right now. In the most. amazing. way.

I’m writing our Dear Birth Mom letter. It will be read by this special someone in the next few hours.

Word of God speak! I need to soak in it.

Love your daughter,

me

Proverbially speaking, we’ve had a hard time putting our finger on exactly where we are at in the soon-to-be-parents process.

• I don’t have this little bun in the oven that is sending me into fits of nausea or frequent trips to the ladies room to tee-tee.
• I’m not required to make regular obstetric check-ups and be measured, examined, and so on.
• I don’t have this forecasted due date where the clock seems to tick away throughout the week eating up the time until little one is here. You know, the biological reminder that is telling you to paint the nursery, register for baby goodies, nest and organize.
• I’m not devouring everything in sight and eating for two. Well, okay…maybe I’m sympathizing in that area a bit too much.

I can say I’ve definitely felt the missing link to the physical side of pregnancy, but I’m all too careful to recognize that though I’m not experiencing this, someone out there–the birthmom to our son or daughter–is going through this.

Our side of experiences is mysterious, wonderful, painful, expectant, joyful, and unknown–much like the pregnant couple–only different. Above anything, it’s God-given, and for that, I’m humbled to be chosen for this special experience and gift he has for us.

Our consultants, Christian Adoption Consultants, has a staff member, Tracie Loux, that has written about this time during the adoption process and has penned so well the feelings and encouragement that I needed to read. I thought you might enjoy reading it, too. It may give insight to those of you that are supporting us or someone else in the process. Fittingly, she’s titled this time in the process: The Waiting Room.

So, here’s something you can help with! We need to rock-n-roll on our adoption profile, which will be a DVD (motion and picture) presentation. We need the perfect song! Something that fits us, not overly mushy, yet meaningful and whimsical! We’re open to any genre (although rap won’t fit us at all and country, well I know I’m from Kentucky and Eric is from Northwest Florida, but twang normally ain’t our thang.) However, we are completely open to suggestions!

We’re not looking for anything too mainstream and chart-topping. Nothing cliche. Don’t go suggesting Butterfly Kisses for goodness sake!

If you are the lucky person to suggest the song that we choose, we’ll even sweeten the deal. We’ll name our child after you! Well, not really, but I will come up with something pretty neat and sweet as a song suggesting prize!

Whatcha waiting for? Flex those itunes surfing muscles and start shuffling through your ipods. Give us some feedback. This is your chance to be a part of something huge! Fire away!

I’ll try to make this post brief but complete in updates…

First, thanks for the many of you that have prayed for me over this terribly painful last week as I’ve endured the distress of an abscessed tooth. Relief came yesterday with a root canal retreatment. I’m still very sore and uncomfortable, but I truly believe the worst is behind me. Now, I just have to incorporate a very full work schedule and the adoption process back into recovery time. No problemo!

Exciting news! My teammate and Director of Middle School at Browns Bridge, Clint Nowery, celebrated the arrival of his son, Silas Briggs Nowery, yesterday! I just can’t wait to congratulate them in person. And I really can’t wait to gaze into that l’il cutie-pie’s eyes — the baby’s, that is!

There are several of you that are asking for more frequent adoption updates and I know I need to incorporate more of that here in my l’il corner of the interwebby world, but here’s the thing: the process is so very silent right now! It’s about to make me burst!

I thought I would spare you the long laundry list of things we’re working on that seems more red-tape and boring, but from this point on, I’ll do a better job of making an honorable mention of those facts and details for those of you who aren’t seeing us regularly for our drive-by updates of “hey, we just got fingerprinted”, “ooh, gotta run, we’re picking up our 9-1-1 reports at the sheriff’s office”, “sorry, do you mind to hold for a minute? This is the vet’s office calling with our dog’s vaccination record”, “look honey, Dick’s Sporting Goods is having a sale on gun safety cases”, “whaaaaa? We can’t be seen for our medical evaluations for 5 weeks? But we’re adopting and would like to do it in this decade!”, or “um-hmm, k, so we need to sign this form acknowledging that we signed the form just before this one, which was actually acknowledging that we have received a check-list of things to do, incidentally the form before that one, which we already initialed, dated and signed?”

Oh, the things that a mother-in-waiting analyzes in her head!

Oh boy–the pain! It dawned on me yesterday why I don’t remember this pain being around with the first root canal–because it was preventative! Discomfort, yes, but not an abcsessed tooth type pain. Darn live root of mine is still hiding up there somewhere and is all fussy and infected now.

Since I was a new patient yesterday, I got the usual questions from the polite dental assistant. Where do you live? Where do you work? Do you have children? That talk led into our adoption story and how we’ve tried for many years to grow our family and how we couldn’t be more excited to be making it happen now through adoption. I explained how I wanted the experience of pregnancy, but up to this point, God has clearly blessed us with different options.

In walks Dr. Bond, with a large toothy grin, his front tooth gleaming and sparkling, he stood confidently in that Green Giant-pose, his eyes widened with that look people give just before they deliver the news, and he said, “This doesn’t look good, Mrs. Kent. Do you have someone you can call to be here with you?”

Okay, so that’s not what he really said. And he probably didn’t look anything like how I described. But pain does make some of us delirious.

Dr. Bond explained the possibility of the live root that is abscessed, what the next steps were, and said that I really needed something for the pain until the specialists could fix things. He jested, “every woman I’ve encountered with this type of pain has said they’d rather be in labor and give birth to several children, so I’m sure you’re needing some relief.”

So deep inside buried beneath the pain of the moment, I smiled in my heart and chuckled to myself–remembering the words I had just said to the dental assistant moments before–and realized that for this moment and for this season, I was in my own kind of labor.

Great, now where’s the epidural?

Let me add this–the ‘epidural’ did not work! The first pain killer has caused reactions and illness and I’ve not been keeping food or meds down. I switched to a different med and it’s not causing the same reaction, but I’m not liking the way it makes me feel either. But the combination of the med and the antibiotic are starting to calm the throbbing and sharpness of the pain–prayers answered!

This stuff never happens at the right time, but then there isn’t a ‘right time’! I’m uber-thankful for my team at work and for the way they are working in super-charged mode to fill in my blanks. They have many great and busy things happening in their own lives, too, so I hope I can convey how appreciative I am. Eric, of course, has been wonderful and so attentive. God blessed me with him as my help-mate and he certainly doesn’t lack in compassion.

I’m using some homeopathic treatments [thanks Katiebod!] that have been more reliable than the medicine, so it’s time I start that back up for the morning. I’ll update later with how things go.